Matthew 13
44 “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and hid; and for joy over it he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.
45 “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking beautiful pearls, 46 who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had and bought it.

The Lamb who was slain is worthy! 

i just got verizon’s new droid eris…i am already head over heels in love with this sexy piece of machinery.  i tried the moto droid but it just didn’t entice me the same way…it was all angles and bulk and the keyboard was a hot mess, and this one is sleek and curvy and all touch screen.  i have been playing on it for hours and haven’t gotten bored yet, although i did manage to put off studying for hesi…oops :0)  oh well i am just droid crazy tonight!  jason upgraded to the imagio but they had problems getting it activated for him, so he can’t pick it up until tomorrow.  i felt sorry for him cause i was playing with my new toy and he had to leave his behind, it has been a busy week and the month ahead promises to be even busier.  i hope i see some of you around soon, because we are headed to the west coast for the holidays and won’t be back until after new years.  only 39 days until graduation…woohoo.  that is all my rambling for tonight…goodnight all

well i start my preceptorship in about a week and i will be working nights 7p-7a at uams (what did i say about getting used to the night shift.)  jason is overjoyed b/c he wants us to have the same schedule but i am kind of dreading it.  hopefully it won’t be too bad.  i am starting to stay up late and let my body get used to it, i was up until 3am last night but could only sleep until about 9:30, i hope that changes or i am going to be a tired puppy.  i am working in the icu step-down unit, progressive care, 1:3 nurse patient ratio, too sick to go out onto a floor, but not so sick they need to stay in the icu.  i spoke with my preceptor and he seems pretty cool, hopefully he is a good teacher and will throw me in…which for me is the best way.  i am very excited but that is not to say i am not trepidatious as well, it will be my first time out on the floor without my instructor to fall back on.  and in a way that is liberating, but also downright scary!   so wish me luck, but don’t call during the week…text or facebook will be the best way to get a hold of me, i can answer it when i wake up for lunch, or if i am at work i can answer on break.  i am off on weekends!

its 3am and i must be lonely…nah, just have a crazy schedule esp. with jason working nights. but i might as well get used to it, money says my first job will not be a nifty 7a-7p type of outfit…prolly more of a 4p-4a type gig.  i am getting tired of the rollercoaster of decisions i am having to make right now, and not knowing if or when the house is going to sell, even after we signed a contract seems like things are slipping.  but i am trusting god has a way, he always does.  and i  firmly and irrevocably believe that my faith can indeed move mountains.

¹² Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. ¹³ Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. ¹⁴ Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. ¹⁵ And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.

that verse is from Colossians 3; my pastor has been doing a series on forgiveness, a tough topic indeed, and i am very thankful and grateful that in my life right now i feel no need to offer forgiveness and as far as i am aware no one needs forgiveness from me.  but i am trying with all my heart to learn from this series, because i believe this is a very difficult and important lesson for me to learn.  i can only think of three people in all my 30 years that i have had to work to forgive and it took time, effort, space, and constant prayer to clear my spirit.  but thankfully i am on the other side of it and can speak to and even laugh with those people in moments although they have never completely regained my trust, they are not close enough to me anymore that they need to.  but having been through those, i am trying hard to learn from this series because i learned in my situation that unforgiveness eats at you like a nasty cancer, always on your mind, always present even in the good days.  through my experience i had help, but not necessarily biblical verses to lean on.  this verse last week was pivotal for me and it is my hope that i can help so many i see around me struggling with forgiving.  i can understand the hurt, the terribly pain, but in my experience i found that constant forgiveness was the only way i could find my sanity.  over and over and over and over and over, until honestly i was tired of every time i thought of them or saw them i immediately asked for forgiveness for the nasty thoughts that came to mind, and then one day when i was in such a habit of asking for forgiveness toward them that i actually asked god to bless them and then i knew…i had made it to the other side.  and so from then on, i stopped needing to ask for forgiveness because whenever they came to mind or i crossed their path, i asked god to be in their life, and to bless them abundantly.  it was so liberating to my soul, jason and i have since had dinner with them a couple of times, some of them are not in my daily life, but i talk to them occasionally, or comment on facebook.  and i am so glad.  talk to me, i love to talk, i give way too much advise, but i love you and i am honest and all i say comes straight from my heart.

72 days, 72 days, 72 days…can you envision me dancing around the house, in my fluffy socks?  i just finished my fourth test woohoo…only 1 more plus the final to go!  i cannot believe it is finally around the corner, oh and you are invited to my graduation, december 17th!

my cat has gone completely crazy, tearing all around the house, jumping up at nothing, attacking me all the time! i think this cool air has given her an energy burst or something, i wish it would do the same for me, although I do love this time of year, i still need it to be about 10 degrees cooler during the day before I can truely feel like it is fall.

so my world exploded this week with some crazy (we think good) news.  no people i am not pregnant.  that has been the first question out of everyones mouth when i tell them i have news, what is the deal, are there not enough babies in the world already right now?  it seems like everyone just had a baby…pay attention to theirs and let me be!  (ok i feel better now i have gotten that off my chest)  anyway, there is a lot to do and a lot to think about, many, many variables before everything is set in stone, but if it all works out, i think it will be a dream come true for jason and me.  so send a prayer our way; that obstacles are removed, that everything flows along smoothly, that we pay attention and listen to god before making big decisions.  maybe by the fourth of july we will be watching pretty explosions on the white house lawn hahahahahaha.

jason and i are sickly right now, not sure why, i personally think i let myself get run down and stressed out about school and didn’t get enough sleep and that equals the perfect recipe for a nastly little virus to come in and take advantage of my worn out system.  and now poor jason has it too…but we are getting better, one day at a time and lots of good meds.  its funny because i used my drugbook to look up the perfect cocktail of medicines for our symptoms, i had to laugh at myself.  but i do know how to take better care of myself and jason when we are sick, i know what to look for and what to take, it is kind of fascinating.  i counted last night and there are 94 days until graduation and i will be out there taking care of other sick people so i guess i should know how to take care of myself and jason.  we have layed low this weekend, haven’t even been out of the house, i opened all the windows today to get some fresh air in and we even stayed away from church today so as not to infect anyone else.  i was soooo sad about that, and tried to watch online but it kept hanging up so i had to give it up, i will wait and listen to the podcast later.  i have a test on thursday so i am praying for extra energy to study and jason has to go to work tonight so i hope he survives…they don’t get to call in sick in the military.   anyway, i am just chatting away, nothing of great importance to say, i hope all of you out there take care of yourselves: drink lots of fluids, take a walk in the sunshine, don’t forget your vitamins, stay away from crowds, try not to stress, and get lots of sleep…its my recipe for staying well this winter!!

so today for the first time i felt like a real nurse, you know that is what RN actually stands for right…   anyway, i got to iv push meds, and start an iv and hang fluids, and although those are like breathing to anyone who has been a nurse for any length of time, for me it still takes a thought process.  and the fact that i actually was not limited on any skill level was incredibly liberating.   i felt useful  and competent and like wow, i am really graduating in like 3 months whoa!  although i have to say, i did have a patient stop breathing on me for about 5 seconds while i was pushing his ativan and i almost had a heart attack, they would have had to code us both!