someone told me friday that i am very open about how in love with my husband i am…she said it was “interesting.” i thought about it all weekend because frankly i wasn’t sure if it was a complement or what. jason and i have been married for almost 5 years, still a young couple, but supposedly well past the honeymoon stage. and yet, i still feel madly in love with him. and frankly am not ashamed to act like it. after much introspection i determined a few unique and not so unique things, in no particular order, have perhaps caused this “interesting” love of ours to be displayed for others.
1. literally days after our 1 year anniversary i sent my husband to war for six long excruciating months, and as most military spouses know there is something almost physical that changes inside you when your husband is deployed for the first time. i spent the entire first day crying…and he was still in the states! (for at least a couple of days, as they slowly made their way east) but the thought, the idea that i may never see his beloved face again was life-altering. i honestly believe that most spouses, especially young spouses, never face, until tragedy occurs, the frailty of our lives together. that in an instant one could be gone. truthfully, jason was as safe in iraq as he is here, but the uncertainty, the knowledge changed my love and appreciation for him and our time together.
2. jason and i have lived apart in the last 5 years almost equal to the amount of time we have lived together, deployments, tdy’s, missions…and most recently, last year, jason pcs’d (permanent change of station) without me, because i couldn’t find a job in dc for 5 months. i know couples who have been married for 25 years and have never spent longer than 2 or 3 days their entire marriage apart. when jason isn’t here i miss the small things; the fact that he makes my coffee for me every morning, he brings the salt to the table when i forget it, he always takes the trash out when it is full, our long talks about the really hard stuff in the car when we are stuck and can’t walk away. i appreciate the details of our shared life together. his little annoying habits that frustrate me are placed in the background as i realize how unimportant they really are.
3. god has blessed our marriage and our lives. we are a christian family, and we trust and believe in god. when we got married our first act as a married couple was to take communion together to remember christ’s sacrifice and place him quite squarely into the middle of our marriage. jason and i have struggles, we have weaknesses, we get on each others nerves…we are human. we have realized we need god to help us overcome. we are committed to him and to each other, during hard times, good times, sad times. if it were not for him, i believe there would be no us.
jason leaves tomorrow, not sure how long he will be gone, hopefully just a couple of weeks, maybe a month. i am sad but not depressed (just kinda wish i had stayed in school for the semester:) i will miss him, all the little things, but when he gets back i will appreciate having him around all the more. i have experienced great love, i am experiencing a great love, and i hope 10, 15, 20, 45 years from now i am still open and show the world unashamed how much i love my husband.
Very well said, Crystal. I think there is so much unhappiness in the world, that when people see couples who are happily married, they are jealous. Perhaps this is the case with the person who made the comment. There is absolutely nothing wrong with outwardly showing your love for your husband…I would be flattered if someone said that to me. When we were in Florida a couple months ago, a lady at church commented about Elmer & I….such a “cute couple”…..”it is so sweet the way he looks adoringly at you when you talk”. I LOVED IT! Some day, ask your dad about me breaking out in tears when he lived with us. I was pregnant and all of a sudden, I thought….”what would I do if something were to happen to Elmer”. Yes, in spite of his little quirks, I LOVE HIM more than ever! I’m sure I do things that annoy him, too. We are HUMAN and if we were perfect, we wouldn’t be here! I hope your time goes fast while Jason is away….keep busy and he will be back before you know it. God bless you both! Love, Aunt Marcia