TDY May 6, 2009

hmm its funny how time changes things and people, especially me.  last year when jason came home from iraq i was just so happy to have him in the u.s. all safe and sound etc… that it didn’t really matter to me how long he was home or if he had a few week tdy to do.  i was glad he was within “armsreach” so to speak.  but i realized this morning that we humans are all just the same…once we get used to something we feel entitled to have it.  jason left this morning for a 3 week tdy and honestly i really just didn’t want him to go, at all!  i have gotten used to having him around and feel this incredible possessiveness of him.  i told him last night, that it is probably a really good thing he is going on this trip because  i need to snap out of this.  jason is my husband, but i do not own him…his duty is first to god, second to county, and third to me, and i am a big girl and need to take care of myself sometimes.  and i think it is good for our marriage to be away from each other sometimes, and since being back from iraq i think i have held jason too close to me.  so i am sad this morning because i know this afternoon jason will not be coming home, but i also need to realize that jason is god’s child and so am i, and it is dangerous to rely on a human for needs, because humans are infallible, they misuse, and abuse, and mess up, and they die.  god however is always there, wherever i am he is, whatever i need he provides, he will not fail me.  so…i pray for jason that he does come home, that he is protected and looked after while he is gone and that we both become more reliant on god. and i go and start my day.